Too Much...? Too Little...? Or Just Right...?

Lately I admit I've been bored out of my mind. I look on my blog and realize that I haven't added anything more to the 'My Pages' part of my blog, so I thought I'd post some.

Hmm, so I figured since I'm anonymous on here, I'd vent about some of the stuff that's been going on in my life. You can read on if you'd like or if you don't give a damn about my random thoughts then oh well, I can't force you. ^_^

So lately I've gotten out of a very long relationship. It's somewhat romance, but not the kind of romance with boyfriend and girlfriend like in the dramas and movies...sadly life isn't that perfect or easy. There was this boy I have liked for over a year now. My memories with him are limited, but they're good enough for me to remember. I've danced with him. And just last week I went out with him. We are good friends, but I guess it was because we became too good of friends that dating became an awkward thing to him.

When he suggested that we break up because he still only saw me as a friend, I admit I was quite upset. But luckily after all the years I've been through, if there's one thing I learned it was to hide my real feelings. So like how I'd always do, I'd pull a fake smile and agree to his suggestion. Now when I think back, I feel that I'm slowly getting over him. I'm no longer thinking so much about him, and I'm no longer trying to understand him as much.

The only bad part I can say now is that I fear I've lost my muse. As a writer, I need something to base my ideas off of. Even though life is never a movie perfect scene, my imagination bends it. But now that I'm no longer occupied by the thought of romance, I found myself to be louging around all day, doing absolutely nothing. I'm not even writing.

So I guess...falling out of love has caused me to lose my muse as a writer. I could always try to fall back in love, but what's the point when it's forced? Feelings can't be forced. So now...what to do? I feel like I've hit a gigantic writer's block that seem impossible to get over. Whenever I write it's usually during a period of tense emotions, but lately, I've been feeling pretty neutral and lazy that when I write, everything feels forced to me.

Hmm...what to do.

I guess it's time again...

When I go and search the internet for all the kinds of blogs I could find and write using them as inspiration. It still surprises me how I could get inspiration out of the randomest ideas, and they don't even relate! Still...I guess surprising myself brings a little fun into my colorless life.

Wow. I've been ranting a lot for this post. Oh well, I guess it's better than just letting it building up all inside and then one day have a mental break down.

=_= Now looking back at this post, I don't care how many people if any at all reads this, I think I'll continue to post some more stuff like this. Have fun sorting through all the randomness I put on my blog! ^_^