Monday, November 22, 2010

Luxe - 34 - Forgetting all the Lies



[Ron’s Point of View]

Her hand was in mine. I clung onto her, tightly as I felt her pulse slow down. My sober heart began to race when I saw her monitor begin to drop. She felt cold, as if she was leaving me. I bent my head down and kissed my sweet Nancy’s lips, still she was so cold. The monitor continued to drop, and steadily it fell down to only a long beep.
I couldn’t make a decision quick enough. All I knew was to rapidly press on the call button, wishing someone would come and bring her back to me. In my hand I could feel Nancy slowly slipping away. No matter how hard I held on, she was slowly letting go. My heart was racing, paining, and crying. To me it felt like my world was falling apart as the beep grew louder and louder. It all happened so fast.
The men in the white coats and the ladies in the white aprons, they rushed in too fast. I couldn’t get another grip of her hand before they pushed me outside, asking me sadly to wait. The door closed, and the sound it made was like thunder to my ears. I stood there, looking through the small glass window into the dark room. I was so scared, and I could just about feel my heartbeat slow down with hers. There was nothing else I could do, except watch the woman who was willing to give up everything for me, slip away. My eyes burned and my entire body ached. I could feel each burning, piercing drop of tears leave my eyes. I leaned against the door, looking inside, watching as they tried so hard to bring her back.

“Please,” I pleaded. For the very first time in my life, I pleaded to him. I pleaded to God to bring her back to me. I pleaded him to not take her away. As I let out the words, I slipped onto the ground, kneeling before the closed door that separated us. “Please God,” I begged. “Don’t take her away, please.”

At first it was sadness when I saw her heart rate go down. Then it was hopelessness, as if I should just give up the idea of my love ever opening her eyes and smiling back at me. Next was anger. As I waited outside the door, I grew angry at God, at life for making this happen. Nancy shouldn’t go through any of this, she’s already experienced so much pain because of me, and now her life is at stake. Finally, hope found its way. I kneeled outside the door, fist strong against the wall, yet inside I was hoping, pleading God to let her stay with me.

~*~

[Raymond’s Point of View]

Coldness, it was all I felt. The top of the world was so cold and lonely that it pained and ached my heart. I stood there, frozen as ice as I watched her. She looked at me with painful tears in her eyes. I ran for her, but before I could reach her, she smiled to me, one last time. She then fell backwards, peacefully falling down from the top of the world. I screamed, tears clouding my vision as all I could do was look down and reach for her, even though I could never reach that far. I screamed so loud.

“Tavia!” I screamed.

Harsh wind smashed against my face, stunning me, burning me. I was again, frozen in place as the person who held my entire heart fell from the top of the world, from atop this mile high skyscraper all the way to the ground. Something then seemed to be pulling me. It pulled on me hard, until I blacked out. The next breath I took, I was sitting up in my bed. I breathed heavily and then fell back into the comfort of my sheets. My heart was still racing. It was all just a simple dream or in this case, nightmare?
I could feel the warm sunlight hit my face as I rolled over on my bed. I opened my eyes, slowly, careful of being blinded by the inevitable light. Now, the only thought I really had in my mind was her. I’ve been thinking about her the whole night, Tavia. Still tired from a restless night, I sat up in my bed. Ever since the meeting yesterday, I never got a chance to speak to her. I wanted to so badly, but yet, I don’t know what I would say to her. If I saw her maybe I would grow angry and demand an explanation why she did what she did. Or I could fall over and become weak, pleading her to stay with me and not care about anything else in the world. When I see her, I don’t know what I’d do. Still, I really wanted to find her. Too bad after the meeting yesterday, Tavia seemed to have cut off contact with me. I couldn’t reach her by phone, and I waited at the door to her apartment all night yesterday, but still no answer.

“Raymond?” my mother’s soft voice spoke in from the door.

I looked up at her, wondering why Michelle would want to see me so early in the morning.

“She left something for you,” she spoke warmly, holding a cup of coffee in her one hand, and a large folder in her other hand.

Lazily, I pushed myself off my bed and walked over to her. When I gripped the folder, Michelle’s gentle smile brought something to my mind. When she said ‘she’, did she mean Tavia? Quickly I opened the folder and scanned through the set of papers that Tavia had left me.
I was confused out of my mind looking through these papers. All the contracts and necessary documents have been signed by both my mom and dad. It seemed that the only thing left that needed to be done is to place my own signature into the very last line of the set of documents. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Why did Tavia have to make such a big circle only to give me this? Was this all pre-planned? And why were both my parents in on this?

“What does this mean?” I asked my mom.

She simply shrugged. “Tavia caught us by surprise this morning when she showed up, but no matter, it was all for the best.”

“Tavia came here earlier?” I asked her in a panic.

Michelle nodded and blew softly on the surface of her hot drink. “She seemed to be in a hurry. If I were you, I’d go find her fast.”

No more waiting. I quickly ran over and grabbed my jeans from yesterday and slipped them on as quickly as I could, almost shocking myself by the speed. I then grabbed my jacket and slipped it on, running down the stairs like a mad man. I ran past the caretaker lady, smiling at her but I doubt she saw me by how fast I ran. Gripping the folder in my hand, I darted out the door. I was still a bit confused as to what had just happened, but I figured I was going to find out while running to her.

“Whoa there,” Steven greeted me, pushing me back and stopping me with his strength. “Where are you going this early in the morning? You’re still wearing your pajamas and your bed head.”

“No time to talk Steve,” I replied in a hush. “Can I take your car?” I asked him quickly.

“No problem,” he smiled, making way for me. “And by the way you’re running I take it that you’re looking for Tavia. If I were you I’d check her apartment first,” he reminded me.

So Steven knew about this too. This only made me wonder more into it. Who else knew about Tavia’s plan prior to this morning? Was I the only one she decided to keep in the dark? And why in the world would she want to keep me in the dark only to make such a big circle around this mess and then come to a conclusion like this? There were so many questions running through my mind. So many that I didn’t even notice how hard my foot was on the gas pedal. I kept on driving, steering carefully as I made my way to her apartment. The directions literally were imprinted into my brain that I didn’t even notice how scary of a speed I was going at.

~*~

[Tavia’s Point of View]

For the first in a very long time, my mind was empty. Successfully I’ve forced all the worries, all the trouble that have been there earlier to disappear, at least for the moment. My only attention was on the set of heavy luggage before me as I lugged them into the trunk of my car, one by one. The worries, the thoughts, the wonders and the facts, I would hold onto them, but what’s the point of holding on if I’ll be leaving them so soon?
My dad placed his hand on my shoulder. It was warm, and after so many years apart, every time he did this my heart would swell up in warmth. I no longer found the thought to hate him, instead I’ve forgiven him for leaving me alone for so long. He stood behind me as I turned around. He seemed down, which surprised me a bit. I thought he would be happy to be leaving this place and starting a new life, overseas. Hong Kong held too many memories for us, ones that we wish to not remember.

“Are you sure you really want to leave?” he asked me solemnly.

I nodded, silently.

“But you’re leaving everything behind,” he reminded me. “Why not give it a second thought?”

“I have you don’t I?” I replied. “I have you and mom with me, you’re all I need.”

“Time’s changed,” he came back. “When you were young, your mom and I could really be all you need. But you’re older now, your mom and I are no longer the primary spot in your heart,” he let out a soft sigh afterwards. “I never intended to cause you such unhappiness.”

“How could I be unhappy after I found you again?” I replied to my dad with a soft smile. I truly missed him so dearly, and now as he stood before me, I wanted so badly to recover all the time that we’ve lost.

He nodded and smiled.

We both turned as I closed the trunk of my car. My dad sat in the passenger seat, his eyes staring up into the sky where the tip of the high buildings met with the clouds. I sat down in the driver’s seat, putting my seatbelt on. Before I started the engine, I too looked up into the sky. I couldn’t pull away from the half hidden sun in the city, the tall skyscrapers that tore into the sky, and the million lights here. I hate to admit it, but I was going to miss this place. But I guess, it’s all for the best. There’s no point to me staying here if all that is left are unhappy memories and broken promises. I’ve had enough of those, and perhaps erasing them from my mind is the best and only way to go.
I closed my eyes for a moment, picturing what could possibly happen after I leave this place and go over to America. Perhaps Raymond will find someone new, someone he could trust and someone who would care for him properly. Then perhaps Nancy would wake up, and maybe she’ll give me a call, not forgetting about this old friend. Perhaps afterwards Ron and Nancy could finally be together, in a proper family and marriage. Finally, perhaps I’ll finally be happy, somewhere far away, knowing I won’t be hurting anyone close to me ever again.
My foot was on the gas. Slowly, I let go of the break and my car drifted forward, slowly. I turned and glanced at my father for a moment. His eyes were forward, blank and only waiting. He was waiting for me, to fully let go of this place. Despite the doubts that were arising in my mind, I pushed on forward. Stubbornly, I pushed down on the gas as the car moved faster. A sudden jolt came to my eyes as another car stopped my path. Quickly I stomped back onto the breaks, never expecting to stop again so quickly. Luckily I didn’t hit the reckless car in front of me, but its familiarity shot back memories into my mind.
I sat still as he got out of the car. Raymond ran out, running from his car over to mind, his face worried and his hands tapping on my window. I didn’t understand why, but I stepped out of my car. Before I opened the door though, I looked over at my dad and he seemed to be wearing a smile on his face.

“Why are you here?” I asked him.

“Don’t leave,” was all he said.

“Raymond,” I began, but he cut me off.

“Don’t leave, please. Why did you return all the shares back to me? Why did you take such a big circle and keep me in the dark? Now you’re leaving, please don’t leave,” he pleaded.

“I didn’t intend to,” I tried to reason with him. “But what’s done is done. I don’t want you to feel like a fool around me anymore. I don’t want to lie to you anymore, and that’s why I’m leaving. I don’t want to hurt you anymore, and with you being around me I know that sooner or later I will hurt you again,” I spoke to him, my voice shaky with tears being suppressed.

Suddenly, he took my hands. His eyes were round and bright, staring back at me, pleading me to stay. It touched my heart softly, his glance. I was speechless as I was forced to listen to his gentle words. “I don’t care being a fool, as long as I’m with you. Tavia, I love you so much. I don’t care what happened between us before, but after everything I finally realized that you did all this for me. Tavia, please don’t go,” he begged me.

He held onto me way too tight. And then it came out. All the bitterness, all the tears, they all came out. I ran into his arms, smacking hard against his body as I hugged him so tightly and cried. “I’m sorry,” I uttered.

Raymond held me tight in his arms. He breathed softly and let out a gentle sigh. That moment, seemed like eternity. I was back in his arms again, and this time around, in no way will I let it go so easily, ever again.

“Hold on,” he suddenly sighed as he pushed me back with care. “I have a phone call.”

I stood there, standing so close to him as he picked up his phone.

“Ron?” he spoke.

The name shot worries into my mind. If Ron was calling, it was obviously about Nancy. I signaled Raymond to switch the call to speaker phone as I listened in, worried about the girl that kept me company for so long.

Ron was breathing hard, very hard. “Raymond, Nancy…” he got cut off, trying to catch a breath. “Nancy…she…”

“What?” I spoke out. “Raymond, we need to get to the hospital,” I spoke quickly.

“Right, get in my car,” he replied.

“Dad, I’ll explain everything when we get back. But can you please take the luggage back upstairs? Please?” I begged him.

The little smile on his face suddenly turned back into a content look. “Fine,” he sighed with no other options left. “Come home early,” he reminded me.

~*~

[Ron’s Point of View]

The room was warm, and my ears were about to go deaf while I was swinging Alex in my arms. I couldn’t hide the little smirk I had on my face as I looked back and forth between Alex, and her. Her voice was ringing, ringing so loud that I was starting to hear beeps in my head. But no matter how loud she was being, I still love her way too much to care. She was on the phone, and it makes me wonder if she was just being loud because of being quiet for so long, or the person on the other line was having trouble hearing her every word. I knew I sure wasn’t.

“Wait, so you’re not coming back until next month?” Nancy asked, surprised and lively as ever.

She then looked up at me, making a comedic disappointed face. “Kenneth apologized that he’ll be missing Alex’s party.”

“Tell him it’s fine, but he still has to give Alex something,” I smiled.

“Yeah, as a godfather you still have to give Alex something when you get back,” Nancy relayed.

I then laughed quietly when she made one of the most surprised and speechless face ever. “What’s wrong?” I asked, laughing.

“Kenneth met Bernice over in Taiwan,” she replied. She then turned her attention back to her conversation over the phone. “You what with her?!” she was so loud, it was amusing.

“What did Kenneth do to Bernice?” I asked, curious.

“Oh ok, so you guys are just having dinner dates for now. I thought you did something bad to her, I was going to get dad to beat some sense into you if you did,” Nancy replied. “Fine, I’ll talk to you later. Good bye,” she smiled.

She then turned back at me with wide eyes, grinning at our baby. Nancy then reached her slender arms around, pulling back slightly when she accidentally pulled on her wire in her arm and flinched from the pinch of pain.

“Be careful, you’re not fully recovered yet,” I teased as I brought Alex closer to her.

“I want to hold my baby, I haven’t even gotten to hold him yet since I woke up.”

“But the doctor clearly said you shouldn’t hold Alex until you finish your physical therapy.”

“It’s way too long though,” she whined. “Please? One hug.” She smiled, her smile so bright.

I caved in so easily around her. “Fine,” I sighed, smiling as I placed Alex in her arms. Nancy then held Alex up ever so gently and then hugged him, snuggling him against her. Alex didn’t cry at all. Instead, a bright smile lit up his face when he was in his mother’s arms. Nancy too smiled, looking up at me while I placed my arm around her, holding her and Alex in my arms. Right now, my entire world was complete. “Ok, that’s enough,” I teased her. “If you hold him any longer your weak arm might give out and drop my baby,” I spoke, sticking out my tongue.

“You’re so mean. If Alex grows up to be like you I’m going to be a goner,” she smiled.

~*~

[Nancy’s Point of View]

Alex was laughing at a high pitched voice in Ron’s arm. I was smiling quietly with Ron as we took turns making silly faces at our baby. It makes me wonder, if us adults are still so childish, will we be able to raise him right. But when I look back at Ron, something about him, something new about him just makes all my doubts vanish, and I know that with him at my side we’ll be able to do anything and everything.
A soft knock on the door hit our ears. I turned around as the door opened. I didn’t expect anyone to come, but my heart clenched up in excitement when I saw them walk through the door. Their faces were worried and pale white, but when their eyes fell on me, they immediately smiled. I smiled back, grinning widely, so glad to see them that I almost cried, almost.

“Nancy!” Tavia screamed, sobbing as she hugged me.

“Nancy, you’re alright,” Raymond sighed, taking a seat next to Ron, gentle with me.

“Nancy! Oh my god, you’re alright!” Tavia sobbed, hugging me tightly, perhaps too tight.

“H…help,” I gagged as she squeezed me tighter. Tavia then let go, laughing at me as tears came out from her eyes. My own were watering up too as I looked back at her, speechless, not knowing what to say. “Careful, I’m still fragile you know,” I replied, teary. She just laughed, her eyes still filled with tears, but I can tell they were not tears of sorrows, but rather the opposite.

“When did you wake up?” she asked me.

“When I called,” Ron replied. “I was outside the room while I was calling you guys, but then the doctor came out and also you hung up.”

“You had us so worried, we thought something bad happened to you,” Raymond spoke up.

“Something bad did happen to me Rayray!” I replied immediately. “The doctor won’t let me hold my own baby until I finish physical therapy. What sense is that?!”

They all were quiet, simply looking at me with wide grins on their teary faces. Ron held Alex up close to me, teasing me with our child and laughing because I’m not allowed to hold him. But I guess that after all this, everything’s ok now. I can finally take a breath.


~*~

And there is my last chapter. Hope you all enjoy it!!! ^_^

It is also posted on Winglin: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/angel_luxe_r/

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