Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Keeping Quiet
I hide my face when I am crying.
I cover my mouth when I am screaming.
And let no voices leave my lips.
I’ll bleed it to, my fingertips.
I hide the pain that hurts so much.
I could collapse with just one touch.
But I won’t fall like those around.
Because I’m scared to make a sound.
Suppress my feelings inside my heart,
I’m too afraid to take a part.
I’m quiet when the pain it breaks,
I’m silent when my heart it breaks.
Understand me and one will know,
I hide my feelings, how far I go.
I keep my pain behind these layers,
While I breathe out my silent prayers.
Still Waiting for You
I know your life, was dark before.
I know that you, can’t find the door.
When tears come out, from both your eyes,
I know you’d think, you’re drowned in lies.
What is the matter, with you today?
Did she hurt you? Did she not stay?
Why fall apart, why now and here?
Keep staying strong, don’t drop your tears.
Just know that I, am always there.
I’ll comfort you, I’ll give you care.
And if you’re hurt, you feel alone,
Remember my words, though never shown.
When you’re in pain, come by my side.
I’ll give you warmth, a place to hide.
Some time ago, I wish you knew
I’ve withered here, waiting for you.
I loved you once, I love you still.
I’ve never stopped, I never will.
Though I know well, these words you dread,
But just you know, those words I said.
I’ll wait for you, been here so long.
I’ll be the one, you won’t be wrong.
You’ll feel the warmth, you never know.
And take my hands, I won’t let go.
In Her Eyes
In her eyes, he is the sun,
The lights that chase, as shadows run.
In her eyes, he is the moon,
The guy at night, he’ll come too soon.
In her eyes, he is the star,
The sign of hope, that brings her far.
In her eyes, he is the sky,
The warm embrace, that gets her by.
In her eyes, he is the song,
The lovely tune, that’s with her long.
In her eyes, he is the boy,
The one she loves, who brings her joy.
In her eyes, he is her heart,
He makes her life, a work of art.
If Life Was Perfect
If life was perfect, shouldn’t I be free?
But then where would, the troubles be?
If things went right, does none go wrong?
But then how would, it last for long?
If life was perfect, my dreams come real.
Forget the sadness, my heart will heal.
But perfect things, do not exist,
And perfect lives, are all but this.
But through the years, I’ve learned to know,
Perfections changed, it comes and goes.
Yet I believe, still some day here,
A perfect day, will raise my cheer.
Breathe
Take it in and don’t hold back.
The air that surrounds us, the air you lack.
It’s ready for consumption, been there since the start.
It’s ready to be taken and satisfy your heart.
Deep breaths of air don’t you forget,
It relieves your mind and the lies you’ve met.
A single breath is all that you need.
Breathe in and out, feel better indeed.
Just close your eyes, ignore the pain.
Imagine yourself in soothing rain.
Breathe in and out, forget you’ve been lied
To, One deep breath, forget those tears you cried.
Relieve yourself, your heart of all its burdens.
Forget the world and the pain so sudden.
Don’t hesitate, or let fear bring you down.
Breathe in and out. In a gentle breeze will you drown.
Breathless Moments
I live for those unwarned moments,
Hard to remember and easy to forget.
Those moments with those people
I wish I knew forever.
I’d lose my breath when those little moments past
But soon they’d come again, I know it as a fact.
Those moments take my breath away
Breathe air in but won’t last.
When those moments come again,
Usually I’m never ready.
But they bring love the most,
They’re welcome, those breathless moments.
Luxe - 33 Disappearing Act
[Raymond’s Point of View]
The sun was nowhere in sight. My office felt like such a solemn place with all the blinds down and the door closed. I sat there in the far right of the room, eyes glued to a bright computer screen, nearly going blind from the hours of reading.
My worries were branched in every direction at the moment. My old and close friend Nancy is in the hospital, Ron is a drunken mess, and Tavia has practically disappeared off the face of the Earth for the past two days. No calls, no messages, absolutely no word from her. I was worried, but not as scared as I am for the upcoming board meeting. The meeting is tomorrow afternoon, and I’m dreading for that hour to come. Not only will I have to watch my back against Damian and his fox-like motives, but Bernice’s mind is in the shadows as well. I still was not sure if she is in this to help me, to help herself or to help Damian. All I knew was that in her hands, she was gripping a very important part of my company.
A soft knock on my door grabbed my attention. When I looked up, my eyes nearly burned from the sudden change. Steven walked quietly in, his hands filled with stacks and stacks of seemingly important papers. He took a breath and placed them on my table. I sat there quietly as he began to speak.
“These are the papers that you still need to sign for the day, but they’re the least of your worries,” he sighed.
For some reason I didn’t like where this was going.
“I did some research as you had asked, and I even talked to the private investigator you hired.”
“And?” I mumbled.
“Tavia’s dad is found, he’s currently residing with Damian. Michael Yeung seems to be keeping a low profile, so there isn’t much more on him. Now for Kenneth, after he stirred the relation between our company and Nancy’s, he’s left for Taiwan. From what the investigator told me, he seems to be taking a vacation of some sort. Going to concerts, attending festivals, that kind of stuff.”
“Is there anything else?” I asked.
“Yes…” this time, Steven was hesitant in telling me the answer.
“I’ve just checked our registration records and Bernice no longer has any part of the company. Meaning the high amount of shares she had in her hands have basically disappeared.”
“Where do you think they’ve gone to?” I asked him.
“I’m not sure, it could be Damian. If she gave them to us or your parents, we would’ve known.”
I nodded. “Maybe she’s broken them off and sold them to smaller buyers,” I suggested.
“Or maybe…never mind.”
“What?” I asked him, knowing he’s got something he wanted to say.
“Maybe,” Steven paused. “Whether you like it or not, Tavia is still in this. Maybe she has those shares,” Steven’s face was dead serious.
He was right, I didn’t like the thought one bit, but he was right. Tavia was after all still a part of this, and now that I’m sure her father is still alive, she has all the right reasons to fight for the company. But no, she can’t be. I haven’t seen her for two days, but the days before we haven’t once spoken of the company. She just had way too many things to worry about already. And I’m pretty certain that she’d let go of this struggle.
“Raymond, what are you going to do?”
It took a while for me to answer, but I stood up and began to head out. “I’m going to make a phone call. Steven can you handle all those papers for me?”
~*~
[Tavia’s Point of View]
There were two sounds that constantly echoed in my mind. One was the sound of Nancy’s monitor, beeping at a steady rate as the only sign that my friend is still alive and hanging on tightly. The second sound was the sound of the keys on my keyboard, clicking as I typed up the many documents I will need soon enough.
I’ve been at Nancy’s bedside since morning, and every second I keep hoping that she would sit up and smile at me like she’d always do when none of this happened. She was always such a happy person, always smiling and messing around childishly, until all these things started happening all together. I guess there’s always a price to pay to reach your desires, but did she have to pay this much? She was so innocent. She wasn’t involved in this power struggle of AVC at all. I knew the exact reason why she’s laying here right now, not because of Bernice, and hopefully not because of me. But to properly give her the justice she deserved, I have to swallow everything I had and play this role till the very end.
I stopped typing and closed my laptop. Looking up at her, my heart cringed when I realized all the wires and machine that was here just to keep her breathing. I took her hand gently, reminded of the good old days where it was just us. The days when she would always defy her dad and come hide out in our little apartment. Those good old days when she would panic over the littlest things and would always bring a silly smile to my face. I miss those days.
“Nancy you have to hang in there,” I spoke quietly. “We’re all waiting for you to wake up and make us smile at the littlest things. Baby Alex is still waiting to see his mommy, and Ron is still waiting for you.”
I sighed, looking down at the ground.
“I promise you I’ll get even with him. I promise you I’ll make everything the way it was supposed to be. Just hang in there,” I spoke to her softly.
I heard the sound of the door opening and I turned around to hear more footsteps coming in. Ron was at the door, his eyes were tired and dark, his face looked rigid and unshaven, and Ron seemed a little bit drunk as I could smell the alcohol from him. He was quiet walking in, and nodded at me slightly.
“Thanks for keeping her company,” he spoke.
I nodded and gave him a sympathetic smile as I left, patting his shoulder.
As I closed the door, I saw him kneeling down next to the chair I sat at as he took Nancy’s hand. He rested his head close to her and closed his eyes. I couldn’t imagine how much pain he must be in right now. They’ve gone through so much just to be together and have baby Alex, and now this happens. I shook my head and closed the door. The only promise I could make to my friends was that soon I’ll bring down the curtains and end everything.
~*~
[Raymond’s Point of View]
Today was the day, the day where I’m about to lose everything. That fact I was so certain. I kept twirling my cell phone back and forth in my hands, staring blankly at it as the many words from people in the room all came through as a blur to me. Still no word from Tavia. I tried calling her so many times, but still nothing. She must be avoiding me, but for what reason? Just yesterday I called Ron and he said Tavia has been at Nancy’s side for the past couple days, but there was still no reason that she would be avoiding me. Unless Steven’s predictions were correct and she was still in this somehow. No, she’s once promised me she’d let go of this power struggle.
Bernice stood up at the other end of the table next to Damian. She had a confident look on her face and so did Damian. Both Steven and I could just about predict what she was going to say, but the confident look Damian had just killed all the hope I had of turning this table around.
I looked over at my mom. Michelle placed her hand on mine keeping quiet but her gentle look gave me a feeling of reassurance. For some reason I felt a lot calmer with her by my side, but yet Michelle was my mother after all.
“Raymond, just let everything fall into place,” she spoke to me quietly. “Your dad and I are ready to give up this company if we have to.”
“You spoke with dad?” I asked her, a little bit surprised.
She nodded. “The doctors said he will be alright after some time in the hospital and some medications. Don’t worry,” she spoke with care.
I nodded and then returned my attention back to Bernice.
“Ladies and gentlemen, today I would like to make a very important announcement,” Bernice began. Her eyes wandered around the table, looking at me, Michelle, Steven, and of course Damian. She waiting a little bit longer and spoke again.
“I will be leaving this company, and all my shares have been given to one person. This person I trust will bring an end to all this confusion very soon,” she smiled.
We all waited, but no one stood up. I turned and looked at Damian, and he too had a confused expression on. Not only was he confused but he was also disappointed. If Bernice didn’t give the shares to him, who did she give them to?
“Miss Liu,” Steven spoke up, surprising me. “May I ask who the new owners of these shares are?” he asked so politely it seemed as if we all were very distant strangers.
Bernice only smiled. “They are right outside the door,” she spoke.
~*~
[Tavia’s Point of View]
I stood right outside the door. I knew my cue was up, and before I walked in I took a very long and deep breath. I closed my eyes for a moment, letting go of all the fears and doubts I had. I’ve gone this far and there is no turning back now. Here’s goes nothing.
I pushed the door and walked in with a confident façade covering the million fears I had inside.
“Miss Tavia Yeung will be taking over as the new CEO of AVC,” Bernice announced. “That is all I have to say, good-bye everyone. It was a pleasure working with you.”
As Bernice left, I gave her a nod and a smile, thanking her for so much. I then looked at Raymond. His expression shot a jolt of pain in me. He was stunned, of course. But he also looked puzzled, hurt, and in disbelief. I wanted to apologize to him, say sorry for lying, but not now, not at this critical moment in time.
I looked at my uncle, Damian. He of course was stunned and frozen. And of course he wouldn’t ever believe his eyes that I would get this far, and that the person accompanying me, the man walking behind me, was my dad. He never would’ve thought he’d lose out to an inexperienced woman like me.
“Thank you,” I spoke as the many strange faces clapped their hands at the new CEO.
I turned to look at Raymond. I was too pained to even acknowledge him, so I turned. I turned away from him to look at Damian. I shot him a direct glance.
“I’m going to make this very brief because I know everyone still has a lot of work to do. As new CEO, I’d like to make some changes to AVC and those changes will be announced by tomorrow morning. Please keep an eye out for the notice boards. Now, Mr. Damian Lau, from this moment onwards I will have to ask you to leave the board. Your shares of AVC that you’ve given to my father, Michael Yeung, had been transferred to me. You now own no part of AVC, and on the contrary I will also have to see you in court for being a third party to triad activities.”
He seemed stunned, but he deserved everything. Even though he was my uncle, I wasn’t going to let him off so easily for causing Nancy and Ron so much pain. My dad had confessed to me that Damian was the one who hired triads to “take care” of Nancy, and uncle or stranger he will have to face what the judge gives him.
“That is all I have to say. I hope our cooperation will be a good one, and I also hope that after tomorrow, all the confusions that have risen up in AVC will be settled and put out once and for all. Thank you for your time and patience,” I spoke, smiled and thanked everyone. My eyes couldn’t avoid Raymond’s, and when I looked up all I saw were speechless eyes in disbelief.
Following the crowd outside, I tried all I could to avoid Raymond. My father stood behind, for what I didn’t know. I didn’t dare to look back, in fear I will see Raymond and see all the confusion he had. So instead I walked away. I took bigger strides and made it to the elevator, stepping inside without a glance back. I bit my lips trying not to let out even the slightest sound. I didn’t want to hurt him at all, but me showing up just moments ago and announcing what I did must’ve smashed everything we’ve both built up.
“I’m sorry,” I sighed as I leaned back in the elevator, now that I’m alone. I could feel the tears come to my eyes, but that was finally the end.
~*~
[Raymond’s Point of View]
Inside my head, I was just about at the point of screaming my heart out and breaking everything in sight. I struggled and strained to hold everything down, hiding them behind my speechless face. My signaled Steven to take my mom home once I saw Tavia’s dad ask to talk to me. He stood waiting. His face was straight but somewhat sad to see me.
“Mr. Yeung,” I acknowledged him.
“Raymond, I’d like to apologize to you and your family in place of my brother and my daughter,” he began.
I was quiet.
“What we did…”
“It’s fine Mr. Yeung. AVC rightfully belonged to you, I understand. If you’d please excuse me, I still have some things that I need to work out.” I turned from him and left, unable to speak of this anymore.
The only thing I wanted right now was to see Tavia. I don’t know what I’d do once I see her, but I just wanted to see her very badly. Perhaps I wanted to clarify things with her. Perhaps I wanted to ask her why, or perhaps I just wanted to see her. I wasn’t sure, but seeing her walk through those doors was the worst thing I could ever imagine. When she walked through those doors, it was proof that all this time, everything between us was all a lie.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Good Night
Days are long yet nights are short.
Many thinks that night might hurt.
But with time the night grows warm.
Lullabies, sleeping through the storm.
Night is when desires free.
Dreams come back again to me.
Things unseen and those unreal,
Night allows me see and feel.
When night comes goodbye the pain.
I stand when dreams come back again.
New surprises the night may hold,
Future plans it may have told.
Love With No Regrets
I don’t care the way to the end,
Just as long as my message can send.
Though you don’t know how much I care,
I still won’t leave you, I’ll be right there.
Your heart for me don’t have to be true,
But I will stay, my heart beats for you.
I don’t need your heart or love in return.
As long as I love you, I know it won’t burn.
I don’t know why I do so much,
But to see you smile, I’ll do as such.
It could be that when your smile is sweet,
My foolish little heart, it skips a beat.
This love I have, I know it may be rough.
But to see you smile, to me that’s enough.
I don’t dare ask this love to reciprocate,
But some appreciation, it better than hate.
I’d like to see your smile, and know your day went right.
Alone your happiness, is enough to occupy my night.
No matter the obstacles or hardships I met,
I’ll keep on loving you, love with no regrets.
Live With No Excuses
Though many may deny this fact,
But its message kept life in tack.
The greatest feeling in this day,
Is always never here to stay.
Happiness is all I really seek.
It brings my heart up to its peak.
Though may differ with every heart,
Yet smiles are, a form of art.
These smiles are yet to be eternal,
But their origins are so memorial.
To bring that smile back so soon,
One finds a way to guide the moon.
Whatever it takes, to become whole
No matter what, don’t mind the toll.
Do what I can when time proceeds,
Before regrets put life recede.
Allow those seconds to take your breath away.
Do linger with them, know they’re not here to stay.
Just let it go and find new uses,
And live out life, with no excuses.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Trust Only Gets Harder
It’s a silly thing, trust it.
It’s an essential need, trust is.
It’s a complicated story, trust is.
It’s an unforgettable mistake, trust is.
So many times before, I’ve trusted someone.
I never would imagine, my story weighed a ton.
To trust and be betrayed, it hurts life falling heaven.
But to never trust at all, to me it’s such a burden.
That’s why I always make the same mistakes.
Forgotten that a simple word is all it takes,
To take me back to times to dead confusion,
And it breaks my world to only mere illusions.
Trust only gets harder as time goes on and by.
Those unfortunate memories run my lips dry.
Trust only gets harder with each and every day.
Reminds me how I could so easily be betrayed.
How can I go to trust another person,
When I can’t take the risk with way too many reasons?
Trust only gets harder and harder day by day.
But maybe someday soon, trust will find its way.
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:: Favorite Quotations ::
"I believe that some day, he will walk into my life and give me all the right reasons to live, laugh, and love. " - A Dreamer
"When you start to miss me, remember, I didn't walk away, you let me go." - A girl
"Live with no excuses and love with no regrets." - Unknown
"Never give up on something you can't go a day without thinking about." - Unknown
"Someday someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else." - Unknown
"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place." - One wise person.
"When you start to miss me, remember, I didn't walk away, you let me go." - A girl
"Live with no excuses and love with no regrets." - Unknown
"Never give up on something you can't go a day without thinking about." - Unknown
"Someday someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else." - Unknown
"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place." - One wise person.