What I've Been Up To...

This was before the snow...

Standing in front of my high school, I took a picture of the sunrise with my iPod. Surprisingly it turned out a lot better than I had hoped, even though I'm not much of a photographer.

Finally it was snowing. My family and I were on a Family Bonding Night and we just walked out of a restaurant. Jimmy, my youngest brother was trying to catch the snow. Being in America for so long, snow is common to me and the land is kind of boring where I live, but there is still something about it that makes me smile.


Supposedly this was after a winter snow storm. It's not really much of a storm if you ask me. I took this photo from the giant window in my living room. The good thing that came out of this "storm" was that I had no school the next day and a 2-hour delay the day after so I was happy.

My baby cousin Madelyn! Born on January 1, 2011. She is a New Year's baby!!! How lucky haha. She's my favorite cousin and my uncle and aunt allowed me to hold her, bottle feed her and let her burp. She was the first baby I ever got to feed. I didn't even feed my little brothers because I was too young when they were this little.

Of course I've been working on my fan fiction too. At first I ran into some troubles with the plot because I wanted to add more action to my story. I actually had a small writer's block. But then after just laying down on my bed, I thought of good ideas for it. Somehow my bed is just so helpful that way. So I've decided not to make this a story focusing on action but more on love...

Aside from "From Dawn Till Dusk", I'm also working on "Midnight Sun"!!! I came up with the name way before Stephenie Meyer so ha! I actually came up with this in 7th grade, about four years ago. That was way before Twilight became popular so ha! I have proof too! I let a friend of mine read a draft of it and I was smart enough to put the date on it haha.

Well "Midnight Sun" is coming alone nicely. I won't reveal the plot until I decide to post it though. I think I'm going to wait until I'm a little deeper in with "From Dawn Till Dusk".

No More Tears

Many times I’ve cried in pain.
Tears spill out again, again.
Once I thought it’d never end.
Trapped alone, I can’t amend.

Till this night come storming by,
I’ve been hurt but I didn’t cry.
All the tears are locked away.
Deep within my heart they’ll stay.

Even when he breaks my heart,
I won’t cry. It’s not so hard.
Listen to the flowing wind,
I am fine. I have not sinned.

Through the years I’m finally done.
No more tears. In me they’re gone.
Been through heartbreak, been through pain.
Told myself, don’t cry again.

Why?

When I know that love is pain,
Why did I fall through again?
Loving you was not my choice.
Even with my boundless voice,
I cannot make you return
A love for me, a love that burns.

Many times I’m all alone,
Told myself I’m on my own.
Loneliness is now a friend,
Emptiness, a space I’ll bend.
Yet my heart beats like a fool,
Using me just like a tool.

Why must I love one like you?
One of which I never knew?
You wouldn’t give this girl a chance.
Why must I stay in a trance?
One way love is never fun,
Yet my heart is still not done.

Why must I go love a guy?
Unknowingly, he makes me cry.
Many tries, I’ve let you go.
But you’ll come back. That fact I know.
Why must I go love in pain?
Time and time, and time again.

I'm Crying

When you look at me, what can you see?
Can you see that tear? That tear hidden in me.
Would you believe me if I told you,
There’s something about me you never knew?
That all along I have been crying.
I say it doesn’t hurt but I’m lying.
The tears dry up but my heart still bleeds.
As time goes by the sorrow seeds.

Look at me. I seem so happy now don’t I?
No one could believe that I can cry.
The silly girl with endless dreams and fantasy
Can shed a tear. So let it be.
You wouldn’t believe it but I’m crying.
I smile now but I am lying.
The silence is just too much. I cannot stand.
Yet you stand there, watching. Give me no hand?

I feel the pain. I feel the sadness drown my mind.
Why do you walk away? Why leave me behind?
The tears I cry are for the love, the pain and sorrows.
I fake my strength. While inside I’m a tempest of woe.
I can’t believe it but I’m crying.
I try to think that I am lying.
That pain doesn’t hurt and this heart doesn’t ache.
Yet the tears slipping out bring a sign that I’ll break.

I can’t believe it but I’m crying.
Life doesn’t hurt and I’m lying.
At times I find myself sighing.
I can’t believe it. I’m crying.

Loving You

Loving you was not a choice.
Loving you was no decision.
Fate brings me what I don’t want,
Destiny, what I can’t handle.
You’re the one to break my heart.
Yet this love I have is art.